Can't Do It Alone

2024.07.29.

For years, I couldn’t find my footing in my business. I felt I had good ideas, that I was capable, but execution wasn’t my strength. I needed someone by my side. Someone to help me do what I couldn’t. Someone more experienced. Someone more practical. Someone with connections—because, let’s face it, I had none. I feared it would be a struggle if I did it alone. And it was a struggle because I was doing everything by myself.

But who would be the right person to do it with?

A friend? A stranger? And what if they steal my idea or push me out of the company? And what if I didn’t look for a co-owner but an investor instead? With the money, I could hire the right people. But employees just do the job for the paycheck; I needed someone who believed in the company! Someone with an ownership mindset, who wouldn’t leave at the first better offer. It’s not an easy question, especially when you’re not even sure what you want to do. You just feel you want to do something. Finally. Because the way things are now, it’s not working.

But how could it work?

Looking back, my biggest problem was that I didn’t really know what I wanted to do. I had no plan for what I wanted to achieve; I just knew I loved the freedom of being an entrepreneur. And I knew I wanted to do something big, something visible that I could be proud of. The rest would work itself out. And it did. One job after another came along. If there was work, I had to do it, so I didn’t chase new work. If there wasn’t, I was a nervous wreck, wondering where the next job would come from. And I did everything that came my way—branding, books, brochures, websites, online administrative systems, events… And as these jobs came and went over the years, so did the people around me. And all the while, I was dissatisfied, feeling that things weren’t going as well as they could—or maybe that they could be much better. And I constantly felt:

I’m not enough!

What a soul-crushing feeling that was. I was building my company; we were making progress. Every year, we grew a little, got a little better. And yet, that feeling drained my energy. The feeling of not being enough. I wasn’t enough for myself to achieve great things. In this sense of inadequacy, I decided I needed a co-owner. And I got one. Several, in fact. With the first one, we had a falling out over money after just three months. Because there wasn’t any, and it didn’t look like there would be. Three months. Not long. I worked with the second one for a year, and then, when they secured a big job, they decided to do it on their own. They quit, took off. I wasn’t needed. Neither of them needed me. Did they deceive me? Hm. I don’t remember how I felt back then. It was over 20 years ago. But one thing is certain: the feeling was there. The feeling that I wasn’t enough for my business, for my goals. I needed someone. Someone who had what I lacked.

I know what I want!

To build a big IT company. To do something significant. It would be great to have someone who has already done this. Then, out of nowhere, after a meeting, the potential partner asked: "Are you looking for an investor?" I hadn’t been, but now I’m reconsidering 🙂 How awesome is that! I believe in life; I believe in paying attention to opportunities that come your way. Finally, someone who sees potential in me, a leader at a big company, managing massive IT projects, based in Budapest, with an extensive network, a real tech nerd, Excel wizard, project manager, and they even want to invest! A distant relative, but we don’t really know each other. This could work. In the end, we didn’t kill each other over the seven years, but we sure drained each other’s energy.

Back to square one!

So, what did I want? A co-owner. I envisioned the kind: someone with a network, who would bring in clients. They had one, but didn’t bring any clients. I imagined someone experienced, who had managed large projects. They had experience with big projects, with corporations, where if an extra person, tool, or any resource was needed, a managerial decision, a set deadline, and some allocated funds solved the problem. Well, in a 10-person company, these experiences mean something entirely different. Perhaps even a disadvantage. That’s how I saw it. So, the connections brought nothing, the knowledge couldn’t be utilized, so all that was left was the money. Between signing the investor agreement and receiving the investment, I brought in 5-6 times the amount into the company. So, no connections, no usable experience, and no money were as expected. Back to square one again! What did I want?

Not to be alone!

And I wasn’t. I got what I wanted. That is, I could let go of the fear of not being enough. It was time to rethink things. Yes, I was afraid. Afraid that I wasn’t enough alone. I wanted someone. And I got someone. What was in the investor agreement again? I’d give equity for a certain amount of money. I gave away half the company, and the company got money. I wasn’t alone. For the next seven years, I brought in the revenue, built the team, and laid the foundation for Games for Business. I did my job. I had no time or opportunity to wonder if I was enough. All this during the middle of a crisis, around 2010. I wasn’t enough. In fact, I’d say we were too much. Too much for me was the daily struggle with my investor. It was too much for him too. I didn’t want a partner anymore. I wanted peace. I didn’t want to have to explain why I did what I did. I just wanted to do my job. We parted ways. Peace followed. I’ve come to understand how much I learned from him. He even brought work, good work. In the end, I got what I thought I would get.

I got it.

I’m grateful for those seven years. Now I know I got everything I wanted from him. Even though we weren’t partners anymore. I think I was right. You can’t do it alone. Maybe only in the rarest of cases. Because somehow, in some form, we always do our business with others. The key is who you do it with, why, and in what form…

It’s worth thinking about what we really want. What we’re aiming for, what we specifically want to achieve (see the previous article: Everyone Struggles on Their Own Level). Maybe that’s the foundation of it all. Of course, you can also seek a partner and start a business without knowing it. You can experiment, discover things, be spontaneous. In some ways, I was too. And I paid the price 🙂 in money, time, and stress. Even in recent years, I’ve been constantly experimenting, trying to figure out how to realize my ideas, how to find partners for them, and in what form the collaboration can work well... But the first step is always knowing what I want.

So, if you already know what you want, if you see how your company brings you closer to it, if you know your qualitative and quantitative goals and even know when you want to achieve them, you might still feel like you’re not enough! In fact, that feeling often comes at this point. But before you believe it about yourself, it’s worth running through a few more questions:

What will be the key to your company’s success?

Usually, there’s one thing in a company that makes clients choose you. One important characteristic that is the decisive factor in most successful negotiations. And it’s not the price or the excellence of the product. How often do you see someone else getting the job despite a weaker product or a higher price?

- What do you think will make your company successful?

- What will be the main value you provide to your clients?

What does your company need to operate successfully?

I know, I know, a thousand things. But the point is, do you understand what the 3-4 key elements are that will make you successful? Is a good kitchen or a good location more important for a restaurant? Does a restaurant need an outstanding kitchen if it’s in an outstanding location? Do you need connections if you’re building an online store? So, what’s your situation?

- What are the 3-4 things that can make you successful, that are critical for you? Knowledge, connections, tools, money.

- What do you already have? And if you have nothing but the idea, why would you be necessary for its realization?

Where will you get what’s missing for success?

No, no. You don’t need a co-owner right away… Consider whether what’s missing will be needed constantly? Or just occasionally? And do you think the same thing will be needed in 2 years as today as the company grows? That’s why it’s good to envision that 3-5 year plan. It’s a pain if you bring someone into the company today who won’t be able to help tomorrow. Then they’ll just be a burden, someone you’ll have to negotiate with…

If you’re not co-owners, how else can you bring in what’s missing? There are a ton of options based on risk-sharing. The question here is, how much are you willing and able to risk to achieve your desires? So, the missing knowledge or capability can be obtained from

- a co-owner

- an employee

- a supplier

- a strategic partner…

+ and if you put in the time, you can learn it yourself

++ and maybe you could do it, but you’re just afraid, you don’t believe in yourself…

Relative, friend, stranger?

The eternal question: is it good to go into business with a friend or relative? It can be. Because you already have a foundation of trust (see my previous article: 5 Reasons Why Family Businesses Are Great). BUT! But the important question is whether you’ll be able to distinguish between when you’re talking as friends and when as business partners. Friends or relatives can start a company, but in the company, don’t work together as friends or relatives, but as colleagues. If you can do this, it can work. If not, the roles get mixed up, the problems get mixed up, the feelings and decisions get mixed up… And in the end, you won’t know if you’re resolving a friendly argument or a business problem.

It’s an exciting and important question…

…who you do your business with and under what circumstances. Finding a partner in the business world is just as exciting as choosing a life partner. It matters who you move in with, who has the keys to your place, who you have to discuss the color of the wallpaper with. And in the business environment, just like in choosing a life partner, it all starts with you. Do you know yourself, are you aware of your desires, and do you see your fears?

Give yourself time to understand yourself. Whatever you find within, it’s already there.

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The article was translated from Hungarian to English by ChatGPT. Thank you, ChatGPT, for being here.