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2024.08.25.

We don't talk about what we're good at. What we excel in. We don't talk about it because it feels wrong. I didn't talk about it either. I didn't write about it. Why? Why is it that when someone compliments our achievements, my achievements, I respond with: "Oh, it's nothing... you could do it too... it's not a big deal..." I don't say that anymore. I don't even think it. But many people still react this way when I talk to them. Why do we stay silent about our talents?

And do I talk about it?

I've written over 100 pages of articles. I filled the summer, the hot, dry days with writing. What did I write about? The challenges of being an entrepreneur, my internal journey, self-awareness, and how I try to connect with the world—myself, others, or technology. I tried to confront my readers—as well as myself—with my questions, to help find meaning in the chaos of everyday life, to understand a little better what's going on within and around us. To become a bit more open.

Difficult topics.

Difficult questions, tough life situations. But is this really what I want? To write about this? Life is already so hard as it is. There are so many challenges in starting a business. Are these really the right topics? Do you really need these questions? When my back hurts, and I go to the masseuse, I know it will feel better. Eventually. But while they press on the knots in my back, it hurts terribly. At a certain point, I just want a little caress. Or for them to stop. I scream. Inside. I want to pull my body away, slap them, shake them, and say, "Don't you get it? It hurts!

Stop it, you idiot!

I just lie there. Focus on my breathing, trying not to whine. I endure it. I know it will get better. I trust it will. I want it to be over. I don't want to be a masseuse. I don't want to do this to others. Or maybe I do, just a little. It's worth finding the knots, the adhesions. If you find them, if you can work them out, everything will be better. It won't hurt to move, to exist, and maybe you'll even be stronger.

I'm doing well.

I think I'm good at this. I love doing it. I love it because I started with myself, massaging out the cramps and adhesions from my own body. Not all of them; there are still some left. And it doesn't feel good to lie on the foam roller or the ball and try to press out the knots, to relax my shoulders. But is this enough? Is it enough for me? Is this what I want? Is this the goal, or just a step on the path to my goal? What do I want? To be a writer? A motivational trainer? To see my face smiling back from a stack of books in a shopping mall window? Do I want to be a teacher, a master? A modernized Central European version of Buddha, an entrepreneur? An idol?

I want to have an impact.

Yes, to have an impact. On whom? Why? Am I seeking the meaning of my existence in this? To prove that my life has meaning? To read more articles about myself, to see what others write about me? Or do I just want to survive? To survive my death? For my name to survive my death? Or is this just part of understanding who I am in this seemingly infinite world? Because there has to be some meaning!

I have no answer.

Maybe it's all of them, maybe none. But does it matter? If someone is interested in this, if someone is interested in me, they can look for explanations, answers. They'll probably find something. I'm interested in what I'm doing. What will I do? What am I doing today? I think a lot about how I work, what happens inside me, and what decisions arise from these thoughts. What thoughts I have, what feelings. Which of these prompt action. How do these actions affect the thoughts and feelings that come next, and what new decisions and actions follow from them? I'm observing my karma. The chain of cause and effect.

So, what am I doing?

I'm looking for talent. And I feel like I see it. I hear it. I feel it. During my walks, in conversations, in online calls, it's everywhere. It's there in the other person. Sometimes it's shining so brightly that it's almost blinding, sometimes it's dimly flickering because it's hidden behind so many things that its poor light is barely visible. But it's visible. This is my talent. I see in others what they don't dare say about themselves. Often, even when it blinds everyone around them like a spotlight. Because what if they said it? If they acknowledged it, embraced it:

I'm good!

Is it even true? What would others say? Would they think I'm arrogant? Boastful? Narcissistic? Crazy? And is it even true, I mean, am I talented? And even if I were, what would I do with it? I can't start my own company, can't get it up and running, it's not big enough, not fast enough, not good enough... I can't use my talent, or maybe I'm talented in something useless?!

Our talent fell silent.

It's quietly sobbing, worn out. Just like we did when we felt unloved, lonely, abandoned. Don't do that to it! Let your talent speak within you. That's what I want. To help with that. And it's not about massage, it's not enough to just press the knots. You have to learn this. You have to learn how to dare to be talented. We have to learn to live with our talent.

Heroes.

We long for heroes. We need heroes. We are heroes. And you don't need to fly for that. To walk through walls. It's enough to recognize who we are. It's enough to embrace who we are. It's enough to believe in who we are. It's enough to trust that who we are is enough. Good enough. At least for ourselves. And if we have that, we'll soar. There won't be many walls. And we'll get somewhere.

I believe in myself.

I think that's my real superpower. And belief is contagious. That's what stories, games, and movies are about. Just think of a good movie. When I watch a good movie, where there's a catharsis at the end, where the hero's journey draws me in, I go along with them a bit. My hand, my leg moves during a fight, I hold my breath while they swim underwater, I also feel relieved when they survive a fall... I tune in. We need more stories where we can tune in to the idea of daring to embrace our talent. To dare to stand up in front of others.

I am Iron Man!

This is Me.

So, what makes me happy lately is talking about this. That's why I walk with strangers. That's why I talk with them about their companies. Because somehow, during the conversation, I'm searching for the talent, and maybe by the end, they are too. In themselves.

But what about me?

I help build and start businesses. How am I doing with building my own company? Is it possible that my real motivation is not to help others build their businesses, but just to avoid having to focus on my own? Am I running away? Trying to avoid starting my new business? Am I afraid it won't succeed? Why don't I talk about my own self-realization? Am I just deflecting with my writings? Playing hide-and-seek with myself? Do I even want to build a new company?

I want a new company.

I want to build a business out of all this. By walking with myself, to bring out the talent that I can organize into a system and convert into a business based on what I just wrote. To monetize myself. I want to amplify the talent within me. Amplify it and turn it into business success. And meanwhile, I want to be quiet. I'm not looking for a podium or a stage. Because this shouldn't be about me. My success will be if you become successful. If you succeed and say so.

But how?

I don't know yet, but I want to figure out how it's possible. That's what I desire, that's my path now, wherever it leads. And I will write about this path. Wherever it leads, I'll write it down. Let the goal, the path, the failures, the successes be visible. Let this be a story you can draw from if you're in this too. Or if you just want to be.

Let this be a new chapter, the diary of a quiet revolution.

Starting in September on the blog.

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The article was translated from Hungarian to English by ChatGPT. Thank you, ChatGPT, for being here.