In the whirlpool
2024.08.15.
I see how the system regenerates the tension. Again and again. I see it because I'm in it. I see it because I'm not the one doing it, I'm just there. If I were the one doing it, I wouldn't see it. Or it would be much harder to see. If I were the one doing it, I would rather think, "This idiot doesn't get it." I see how the tension builds up, slowly moving towards the point where someone will need to release it on someone else.
What should I do?
It's like when you get caught in a whirlpool while swimming. You're in the flow, running your business, taking care of your affairs, focusing on your creations, your process, your goals. The sun is shining, the water is refreshing. But out of nowhere, there's the whirlpool in the water before you. You didn't ask for it, you didn't call for it, you didn't do anything to bring it there. But it's there. The source of joy instantly turns into a deadly, suffocating environment.
What should I do?
I've been in a situation like this once. In water. In tension, many times. I had no idea what to do. The person I was with said, "Stay calm! If you don't panic, you'll conserve your energy, and then you'll be able to make conscious decisions." What a great sentence :) I get it, but how can I stay calm when there's a whirlpool in front of me? How can I stay calm when I see the tension growing, the conflicts sharpening?
I'm watching.
I'm watching because maybe I'm wrong. What if the situation is really what the other person thinks it is? They're right, the other is the fool. Am I the fool? No, not me, I'm not in the tension. Not yet. And even if I were the fool, this isn't about me. I think. Not yet. But soon it might be because I'm there. I'm in it. Neck-deep. The whirlpool is starting to pull me down too. Should I swim upward? But it's pulling me down, I should resist it. Should I? Whirlpools pull downward, that's just how they are. The whirlpool is probably stronger, the mass of the water bigger than you think. I won't go against the tension; in this situation, it will only tire me out and increase the resistance. Mine and the system's too. If I tire out, panic can easily follow. If I panic, I won't see things clearly. And then comes the thrashing. Nothing matters but one thing.
I have to get out of this!
But not upward. I'm not going to fight against the downward pull. I need to move sideways! Simpler, more effective, smarter. I'll look at the things that are part of the tension but aren't the main issue. What might the tension really be building on, not what we're talking about. To see this, I need to look at the situation from a distance. I need to see where it's worth moving, where there are no more whirlpools. How is the water flowing, where should I try, and where not. This takes time, calmness. I'll try not to be in the main current, and maybe that way I'll tire less, stay calm longer, and perhaps I'll see something to hold onto.
I need a thought!
A thought I can hold onto. It could be anything, anything that helps me not to drift. I'll try to stay on the surface of the water. Underwater, options are limited. Panic comes quickly, air runs out fast. If I get out of the whirlpool's center, I'll try to stay on the surface and maybe swim towards the shore. What if it doesn't work? There's one more option.
Let yourself go!
Apparently, if you don't thrash around, the whirlpool will spit you out. The system doesn't know what to do if you don't resist. How can you argue with someone who doesn't argue? Of course, this is just to prevent you from struggling helplessly while you don't even notice your head is in the mud. Let the whirlpool toss you around, you're not a victim; you chose this. Can you hold on? Wait to see how it ends? Whirlpools usually only last for a short time. Usually. In theory, if you manage to stay calm and react appropriately, you'll soon get out safely. In theory. It's hard to believe this while...
You're drowning.
How many such situations are there in our lives, how many situations where we feel endangered. We want to live. Survive. It's the basis of our existence. This instinct is ingrained in us. And if someone, or something, acts or seems like a threat to this, we want to fight it. We have to fight it.
To survive.
Somehow. When I saw a whirlpool up close in the water, I got scared. The "stay calm" phrase made the whirlpool ten times bigger, darker, and deadlier. Yet it wasn't even a whirlpool there, just some surface thing, maybe a fish showing off to its friends. But I believed it was a whirlpool. Maybe for a moment, I even drowned in it.
I'm watching the events.
The water is full of whirlpools. The water is full of swimmers. What is this, a race? Why am I here? I'm not thrashing around, not panicking anymore. I'm watching. Trying to figure out if it's just some surface thing or if the current is already getting stronger down below, ready to suck me in...
And if it does, I'll try to stay calm and decide whether to swim or drift.
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The article was translated from Hungarian to English by ChatGPT. Thank you, ChatGPT, for being here.
