Thought-Provoking

2024.08.29.

Here I sit in front of the computer, with a pile of thoughts before me that I want to write about. I actively collect them—during walks, before bed, while working out… anytime a thought pops up that I like, I jot it down. I write down the topic and the few lines that come to mind at that moment. All good thoughts, waiting to be fleshed out, to turn into stories wrapped in words, so they can start living, growing, and strengthening as they pass from reader to reader, seeking the soil where they can take root, joining with new ideas to grow into theories, then ideologies, and finally live on independently with the hope of becoming immortal.

Here I sit in front of the computer, and these hopeful thoughts are quiet and waiting. No one wants to step forward from the notebook today to begin this journey. Why? Are they afraid? Tired? Looking inward for their own meaning? Or are they just waiting for a leader, a guiding thought to show them the way, to arrange them in direction so they don't have to figure out the next step themselves? A guiding thought that will instill in them the belief that the struggle with other thoughts during the journey from person to person will not be in vain?

Could our thoughts be like us, humans? Is it possible that there exists another world where human names are listed in the notebooks of thoughts, with a short chain of words outlining their life plan? In whose mind were Aristotle, Descartes, or Freud conceived? And how did they grow up, gain strength, and spread in the realm of thoughts, as more and more small thoughts gathered around them, leading Descartes to write:

I think, therefore I am.

So, do I exist if I have thoughts? But what does it mean to think? Perhaps we are merely giving space to this other form of life? Are we the habitat for thoughts? Petri dishes, incubators, or natural soil? Is that why we are born, so they have a place to exist? And are there more and more of us because the multiplying thoughts demand larger and larger living spaces? And in this rapid growth, the quality of people declines just like our mass-produced tools.

Incurably.

Blessed are the poor in spirit! And meanwhile, our thoughts become just as impatient and exclusive as we are. One thought no longer tolerates the other; they honk at each other nervously on the thought highway that is the internet. Influencer thoughts post pictures of people to each other, showing where they've been, in whose mind they vacationed, or drank, or graffitied someone’s dream with some nonsense.

So here I sit in front of the computer, with a pile of thoughts before me that I want to write about. Last night’s conversation with my son, where we talked about his plans, how he wants to build his life, what his strengths are, where he’s stuck, and how he would deal with it. About how good it feels to be present as a father during such moments and what it means to me to be present as a father. Or there’s the question of how I should approach my business, what I desire, what I’m looking for in the new company, how I can achieve it…

The thoughts are silent.

They don’t move. I just look at them, but nothing happens. They don’t come, they don’t go. Only this philosophical nonsense camps inside me. But let's face it, this is also a thought. What does this thought want from me? How will it help my decisions, how will it change my actions, how will it affect me? I’m sure it wants something from me, as it’s been working inside me for over an hour. And it was present earlier too, during a walk, during a conversation. But back then, it only showed itself briefly. It came and went. But now it’s the only one here, so it has the space and time to clearly affect me. What if this thought is the truth?

We are livestock.

What if the reality is that our thoughts really exist? They exist, and they don’t need us, they exist independently of us? What can I do, how can I shape myself so that thoughts that are capable and willing to be more, better, bigger reside within me? What do I have to be like for thoughts to visit me that will change me in a way that other similar thoughts also want to come here?

What are thoughts like?

If I assume that our thoughts strongly determine what we are like—rather, how we act, how we live our everyday lives, how we see things—then I assume it’s worth grouping them based on their impact. Which thoughts make us curious, open, brave, and enthusiastic?

Questions?

Open-ended questions are certainly open. That’s their name. So I try to attract many questions, and when a question arrives that I like, I start dealing with it. Everyone likes attention; attention gives energy, makes you feel important, interesting, beautiful, exciting if someone pays attention to you. So I pay attention to my questions.

Which are those that have faith and passion? Perhaps the thoughts about action. Because in action, there is a desire to do, a decision, energy, movement. To be open, to do, to act, to be in motion toward the unknown. The unknown can bring anything. Even something you don’t even know what it is.

And maybe thoughts also like to explore new spaces. To see what life is like somewhere else. And maybe they like places that help them get to new places. They don’t like to be locked up, hidden away.

They want to flow.

We must not lock up thoughts. Because if thoughts are not us, if thoughts are not our property, if they just come to us, isn’t the best thing to do to let them move on? While they become a little different, a little more, a little like us. And as these thoughts, which are partly built from us, move on to someone else and then back to us, and so on, we always receive, and give something a little new, more, different. And with this, we also get into the flow.

You feel alive.

And not only do you feel alive, but you also feel useful. Useful even if you’re just letting things flow, and useful even if you yourself are the flow. It doesn’t matter to me whether I’m the subject of shaping my own world, or just a tool in a world that is being shaped.

I love the ever-expanding space where more and more people share what they think of the world, where more and more people ask me what I think of the world. I love questions. I love them even when they open painful doors. Doors behind which are cold statements, painful or angry shouts. Commands, orders, rejections. Thoughts that sometimes try to suck the life out of me like parasites, sometimes like scavengers.

In the flow, these also come and go. They are no more than passersby. But if there were no flow, they would stay. Trapped inside me, trying to gnaw their way out of the hidden corners of my soul, desperately clinging to a little attention.

I love my thoughts.

As they build in me or build something within me, as they come and go.

I think. I am.

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The article was translated from Hungarian to English by ChatGPT. Thank you, ChatGPT, for being here.